“Vomit Inducing”
After one too many recommendations, I put aside my palpable dislike for the Fast and Furious franchise, and watched number 5 - on the basis that if so many people were saying I should watch it, there must be something to it. And there is!
Fast and Furious 5 has the most vomit-inducing acting I have witnessed in a feature film for a long time. At points, when Vin Diesel is attempting some quasi-moody-anti-hero with a close-up of his inner turmoil, it’s like watching Uncle Fester from the Addams Family sitting on the toilet, pushing out a big one. Honestly, this film reeks of amateur melodrama, and cringing “brotherly-love”.
The film’s other lead, Paul Walker, roams around like Bashful from the Seven Dwarves - bumbling through a god-awful script, and smirking like a lobotomised CK model.
And where is this dramatic move away from the previous films that I was told about? Fast 5 is just like all the others: flimsy, ridiculous plotlines, with shiny cars, shiny girls, and shiny muscles. The whole franchise is like a formula made up by Nuts magazine: naked girls + expensive super cars + bewildering images = gullible audiences.
Apart from the acting, the story, the script, the music, the locations, and every other important part of filmmaking, Fast and Furious 5 is an AMAZING movie. It’s like Citizen Kane meets The French Connection, only miles better (!)
