Revenge for Jolly!

A dark comedy tail with extra bite, that shows the great lengths people will go to when their dogs die, especially when their dog is strung up from a lighting fixture.



Brian Petsos plays Harry, a deadbeat who is pushed over the edge when some troublemaker kills his dog Jolly, as a message that he, Harry, owes some important people money. Instead of, ahem, rolling over, Harry takes the bloodier path, unscrupulously rampaging across town in search of the dog killer. He brings his brother (Oscar Isaac) along with him, and the two use extreme force to interrogate anyone who may know who killed Jolly.



Twisted humour and outrageous violence can often be a nasty combination when it comes to Comedy films, but Revenge For Jolly deserves a treat for its efforts. There is a beautiful combination at work here, with a Pulp Fiction foundation, a Harold and Kumar brotherly love, and some of the best cameos in recent years. Including: Kristen Wiig as a trailer trash bride, and Elijah Wood as a bartender whose misplaced words put him in the, ahem, doghouse.



The cold-blooded rampage of Harry may put many squeamish viewers off, failing to understand his murderousness. And some may be violently sick when they witness Adam Brody’s long hair! It’s enough to make you play dead…for real.



Fantastic fun and quite endearing by the end, Revenge For Jolly is the murderous pet movie we have all been longing for…well since Cruella De Ville.

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Outpost III: Rise of the Spetsnaz

"The Fright Wing"
By Chris Olson

​

Two elements which make a volatile cocktail of monstrous proportions are Nazi science and the undead. The Outpost franchise just got a little bit more terrifying, as the Russians and the Germans face off in a battle to the death - and beyond.



For those unfamiliar with the Outpost films, a quick run-down. Nazi’s wanted to make zombies.



Now that you are all caught up, we can explore the gratuitous killing field that is Outpost 3: Rise of the Spetsnaz. We see the origins of the Nazi super-soldiers, who are created in a lab using a lethal serum that turns them into brutal war machines. A special group of Russian soldiers, the Spetsnaz, are captured by Germans and taken to the science facility where they are to become guinea pigs in the experiments taking place. However, Mother Russia doesn’t take kindly to oppressors, and the Spetsnaz fight back in an inglorious fight to the death against this ruthless regime.



Average to watch, and lacking in its gimmicks, Outpost 3 feels like drinking a White Russian after having a Molotov Cocktail thrown down your throat (liking the Russia references? Yeah you are!), there is just not enough bite. Somehow, even with zombies and Nazis, the film feels subdued. The gore is enough to churn a horror newbie, but veterans of the genre will roll their eyes and wait for a revelation…which will not come.



A promising plot is spoilt by developments which lead it into murky waters, and the final result feels like an unwarranted smorgasbord of merciless killing without any real point.



For fans of scary Nazi films, I suggest Schindler’s List.


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Battle of the Damned

"The Walking Dredd"

Ever wondered who would win in a fight between Zombies and Killer Robots? Of course you have, it is the fundamental question we as a society have been pondering for decades, and now (finally), the two are pitted against each other in this action/sci-fi caper.

Battle of the Damned takes place inside a contaminated city, where a deadly virus outbreak has turned most of the civilians into flesh-eating freaks. Max Gatling (Dolph Lundgren) is sent into the zone to rescue a particular female survivor (Melanie Zanetti), who has managed to stay alive with a small bunch of misfits.

When Max attempts to complete his mission, though, he is hindered not only by the army of walking dead that seek to devour him, but also Duke (David Field) the leader of the group of survivors - who doesn’t take kindly to this muscle-headed usurper. When all the odds seem against him, Max receives support from an unlikely gaggle of homicidal robots!

Nerdgasms will flow through the viral world at the plot of this movie, and rightly so. An action film starring Dolph Lundgren that pits Zombies against Killer Robots, surely if ever there was a recipe for success? However, the lukewarm result will see many viewers damning this particular battle.

The action is intense and the special effects are decent, but there is no depth to the story. Attempts at making emotional connections to the characters are tenuous, whilst the main arc of the movie seems unfulfilling. Also, the film opts for a short running time, leaving barely any prologue to what caused the viral outbreak, and no sense of intimation about the future.

Fans of action sci-fi, like I Robot or The Terminator films, should approach this film with caution. It will not deliver on an emotional or intellectual level, and should be seen more as a Battle L.A or Skyline attempt - films that fell way below their potential.

Battle of the Damned, whilst providing some adrenaline fuelled chase scenes and gun fights, fails to elevate itself above being mere cannon fodder in the genre, and will leave audiences not giving a damn.

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Siberian Education

Recently reviewed Siberian Education for UK Film Review.

It was a really compelling Drama, starring John Malkovich, about a group of outcasts living in Soviet Russia.
Check it out!

http://www.ukfilmreview.co.uk/#!siberian-education/c1jdb

PHANTOM

"This Is The Captain Speaking"

Ed Harris and David Duchovny star in this naval thriller, about a Soviet submarine that finds itself on course with the annihilation of the world.

Captain Demi (Harris) is a nearly-retired patriot who is respected by his crew of sailors. Having recently returned home from a mission, Demi is ordered back out onto the seas in a boat he once crashed, taking with him some delicate cargo. Guarding this cargo is Bruni (Duchovny) and his gun-wielding goon, and the two of them hold the future of the Soviet Republic.

The “Phantom” is a device that can copy the signal of another ship and relay it to an enemy, making them think they are chasing another country’s submarine. Bruni plans to use this device in order to start a nuclear war between the Soviet’s enemies.

Almost entirely set inside the steel tubes of this archaic submarine, Phantom is a pulsating thriller that creates a tense and claustrophobic atmosphere, whilst engaging with a full-throttle plot.

Ed Harris is phenomenal. His performance determines the film, elevating it above a mere game of battleship, into a full-on war game. Surrounding him, there is also some heavy-hitting talent; Duchovny playing an unlikely villain, and William Fichtner playing Harris’ enduringly loyal Second-in-Command.

Whilst the acting talent is ship-shape, and the film’s aesthetic/atmosphere is plain sailing, the pace of the story needed some extra knots, languishing about during the opening third. This being said, Phantom delivers a worthwhile sea-faring adventure that combines political mutiny with overt heroism - a combination some may find leaves them feeling sea-sick, but most will salute.

(That’s it, I’m all out of sea puns, sea ya’ later, man overboard).

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Manhattan

"Witty Allen"


A phenomenal story comes to Blu-ray, with Woody Allen’s timeless comedy about a New York writer whose interpersonal relationships create complex, and revealing, situations.



Allen plays Isaac, a forty-something cultural intellectual and semi-successful writer, with a lesbian ex-wife (Meryl Streep), a teenage girlfriend (Mariel Hemingway), and the hots for a woman he despises (Diane Keaton) - who happens to be his best friend’s (Michael Murphy) mistress.



You would need an impressive flow-diagram (and acumen) to successfully depict all the varying trysts and emotions rolling around in Allen’s bittersweet take on modern relationships. The story delves deep into human nature, revealing its insatiable appetite for self-destruction and the way our urges not only define our character, but ruin our chances at happiness.



But, through this chaos and self-exploration come some exquisite comedy scenes that have secured their place in cinematic treasure-land, displaying Allen’s genius at capturing the hilarity of love and other things.

With dialogue that overlaps, and a star-studded cast utilizing a naturalistic acting style, Manhattan reaches levels rarely seen in a human comedy like this. Allen’s style and influence has undoubtedly shaped the course of cinema, and Manhattan is a superb example of just how much.



Picturesque seventies New York, outrageously corny montages of couples in the park, and the blithering wonderings of Isaac as he cynically ponders on the minutia; it would be easy to dismiss Manhattan’s legacy as being overrated schmaltz. However, any lover of true cinema will see the brilliance in this movie, how it is a celebration of the cinematic form. From the witty banter and character nuances, to the loving depiction of the Manhattan streetscapes, Allen douses his film in artistry and devotion.


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PAIN & GAIN

The muscle-bound comedy/action starring Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - PAIN & GAIN.

Read my review at www.ukfilmreview.co.uk - or click the PAIN & GAIN title above.

RUSH

Out This Friday! It's Ron Howard's RUSH...

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Olivia Wilde and Daniel Brühl. Click the big RUSH in the title above.

The Master

“Masterful Manipulation”

Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix give the performances of their careers, in this outstanding outing from esteemed director Paul Thomas Anderson.

Unfairly dubbed as the “scientology” movie, The Master is loosely based on that controversial cult’s founder, Lancaster Dodd (Hoffman) aka The Master - a charismatic and manipulative orator of The Cause. Phoenix plays Freddie, a veteran sailor who struggles to re-enter civilized society after returning home, instead spending his days inebriated and causing havoc. During one of his benders, he finds himself on a boat with The Master, and soon seeks out his salvation.

Anderson directs this fascinating character piece with a sophisticated surrealism, veering into an unnatural shot style that creates a disturbing atmosphere. Moments of scripted stand-offs between Hoffman’s intellectual lectures and Phoenix’s slurred ramblings are intense and gripping, delving into the complicated nature of their relationship - at one time father/son another teacher/student.

Tone and setting are authentically subtle, with minor references to time and space, whilst allowing the enduring themes to keep the film relevant. Arguably, the film’s proclivity for quick cuts and stops make the storytelling frustrating, however, anyone in-tune with Anderson’s There Will Be Blood will already be used to this style, and will revel in it.

Whilst Anderson’s filmmaking is undoubtedly incredible, The Master finds its strength in its two central performers. Hoffman and Phoenix engage in a fierce battle of wits and emotions that makes the film one of the best in recent years.

Fast and Furious 5 (2011)

“Vomit Inducing”

After one too many recommendations, I put aside my palpable dislike for the Fast and Furious franchise, and watched number 5 - on the basis that if so many people were saying I should watch it, there must be something to it. And there is!

Fast and Furious 5 has the most vomit-inducing acting I have witnessed in a feature film for a long time. At points, when Vin Diesel is attempting some quasi-moody-anti-hero with a close-up of his inner turmoil, it’s like watching Uncle Fester from the Addams Family sitting on the toilet, pushing out a big one. Honestly, this film reeks of amateur melodrama, and cringing “brotherly-love”.

The film’s other lead, Paul Walker, roams around like Bashful from the Seven Dwarves - bumbling through a god-awful script, and smirking like a lobotomised CK model.

And where is this dramatic move away from the previous films that I was told about? Fast 5 is just like all the others: flimsy, ridiculous plotlines, with shiny cars, shiny girls, and shiny muscles. The whole franchise is like a formula made up by Nuts magazine: naked girls + expensive super cars + bewildering images = gullible audiences.

Apart from the acting, the story, the script, the music, the locations, and every other important part of filmmaking, Fast and Furious 5 is an AMAZING movie. It’s like Citizen Kane meets The French Connection, only miles better (!)